Social Awkwardness Is A Hard Look To Pull Off At My Age

Well, it’s blog conference time again, which means it’s time for my once a year, very uncharacteristic bout of shyness to make it’s annual appearance! As you may or may not know, my family nickname is Tori “I Can Talk To A Rock” Taff. Russ used to say I’m the only person he knows that can stand in the short line at Krogers and by the time my groceries are bagged I have exchanged childbirth stories with the heretofore total stranger behind me and bestowed a heartfelt hug when I leave. My job at Homecoming Magazine and the book I wrote on the ‘Top 100 Christian Songs’ for CCM Magazine both require(d) interviewing countless artists, by phone and in person– most of whom I already knew, but many I didn’t. Shoot, this BLOG is pretty much an ongoing conversation, when you think about it! So, talking to people? Not so much a stretch for me.

Except at blogging conferences.

My first one was BlogHer ‘08 (I know, these conferences don’t have names that exactly leap off the tongue, do they?). I told myself the reason I chose to eat lunch twice alone in my hotel room instead of mingling with the 1000 other women bloggers downstairs was that I needed a brief respite from all of the convention chaos to chill out a little bit before rejoining the fray. This was partially true, but to be completely honest the main reason was that when I picked up my lovely organic salad lunch in it’s recyclable container (we were in San Francisco) and looked around at all of the women who were walking up to tables full of complete strangers, introducing themselves and asking if they could join them I realized with a sinking feeling that for whatever reason, I was not gonna be one of those women that day. I would say that it felt like I was back at my high school cafeteria again, frozen and shy, except that hello! Doesn’t apply! I had NO problem talking to anybody in high school.  I also learned at that conference that for me, the Third Ring of Hell is walking into a ‘Get Acquainted’ cocktail party alone, making awkward conversation with a similarly uncomfortable techie blogger (oh yeah, we had a lot to talk about) and finally FAKING A CELL PHONE CALL so that I could escape with some shred of my dignity remaining. Why didn’t I just walk up to someone, introduce myself, ask about their blog and start a conversation? I have no idea. It always worked at Krogers! At any rate, despite all of that I loved the conference, I learned a lot, and I was not COMPLETELY socially retarded– OK, I did wear a bag on my head at the CheeseburgHer party, but so did everyone else. I also vowed that now that my bloggy feet were wet, I would be much more at ease at the next one.

‘The next one’ happened to be BlissDom ‘09, held right here in Nashville. It was a smaller, seemingly less overwhelming conference, with some of my favorite bloggers slated to be speakers. I chose to stay at the Hotel Preston with everyone else, though I could have easily driven home every night, just to make sure I was completely immersed in the whole conference experience. I had made contact with a couple of other Tennessee bloggers that I ‘knew’ online, so I knew I would have someone to talk to (and eat lunch with.) I adored BlissDom. I came away with reams of copious notes, a bagful of swag and countless blog cards from women I met. I even handed out a few of my own. But still? If I had to rank myself on a scale of 1 to 10… 1 being a monosyllabic nerd in the corner and 10 being my usual full-throttle Tori, I’d have to say I was about a 5, maybe 6 at best. A pastel version of myself, let’s say.

Want an example? OK, after almost every session (which were truly so interesting and informative and entertaining), there would be a Q and A time. My mind was brimming with questions, but just as I was cleverly phrasing one in my mind, I noticed something. When the mic person would approach someone with their hand in the air and they would stand up, they’d always start their question by stating, “Hi, I’m (fill in name here) and my blog is (blog name here). I just wanted to ask…(fill in question here.)” So what started happening was that when the person would say the name of their blog, there would be a murmur of recognition in the room, a craning of necks to actually see the person (it’s so weird when you feel like you know someone so well from reading their blog but you’ve actually never really laid eyes on them.. Oh wait, maybe you guys do get that!) and then there would be a smattering of applause– or a LOT of applause and some encouraging catcalls from friends and fans if it was a really popular blog. And it was at about that point that my carefully framed question died on the vine. I had this sudden vision of standing up, taking the microphone and stating, “Hi, I’m Tori Taff from Babybloomr.com. ” and…. *sound of crickets*  OK, realistically I don’t think that would have happened, I had met people that told me they knew my blog, had read my post about whatever, blah blah blah, but still. The primary color Tori would have blown right past that part and asked my dang question, but the pastel version just settled back into her seat and started taking copious notes again. See? Virtually unrecognizable as myself.

So here we are, poised on the brink of another BlissDom. I’m actually really looking forward to it. Again, the panels look interesting and the speakers are impressive. This year it’s being held at Opryland Hotel, the sprawling mini-city that is about 20 minutes away from my house. The conference starts with the de rigueur Welcome cocktail party Thursday night, continues all day Friday, Friday night and Saturday, and ends on Saturday night with a concert by Harry Connick Jr. (cool, right?) and, of course, MORE PARTIES. I am only going to stay at the hotel on Friday night– Russ is gone this weekend and I don’t want to leave the girls home alone that long. But this time, I’m making a preemptive strike at the inexplicable social anxiety I now know to expect. I have dutifully RSVP’d to the parties (and I have a good blogging friend who will at least be at the Friday ones), I have planned a Saturday lunch with a group called Nashville Women Who Blog, I have shiny new blogging cards to pass out *AND* I had a sudden burst of maturity and decided that my goal for this conference is simply to be myself. Which is usually a given, but apparently takes some major inner mind-wrangling where blogging conferences are concerned.

It’s funny– I’ve psyched myself up and mentally prepared myself so well, that when I’ve come across a lot of blog posts this past week  featuring first-time BlissDom attendees anxiously asking the all-important WHAT TO WEAR question, I just kind of smiled a knowing smile and thought to myself, “Pfffft. Those crazy newbies. After they have a couple of conferences under their belts they’ll realize it is SO not a fashion show– they just need to focus on being comfortable and forget about trying to impress anyone…”

(So ask me where I was last night at 8:55 p.m. OK, I’ll tell you. In a panic in a dressing room at Stein Mart, after an all-day shopping marathon that started at noon and crossed three counties, trying to hurriedly pull a stupid top that was SO not going to work with my black jeans off over my head while I tried to make a split-second decision between that so-so blue sweater and that green one that would work with my brown boots but to be honest, really looked better on the hanger than on me while the loudspeaker announced that the store would be closing in five minutes and the dressing room attendant gave me the stink-eye because I ended up leaving her with eight items to re-rack while walking out empty-handed. Apparently I still have a little inner wrangling to do.)

I’ll be checking in from BlissDom. Stay close, I may need you.

**BlissDom ‘09– I am somewhere in that sea of women, taking notes.

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** OK, seriously– from the looks of things, this is NOT what you’d call a really intimidating cocktail party, and yet… Go figure.

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** Proof I DID actually talk and make bloggy friends– This is darling Robin from http://pensieve.typepad.com/

(Cue the applause!)

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Oops– you caught me ‘half-designed’!

(I first said ‘half-dressed’, but you would not believe the type of ads that was attracting!)

OK, your discerning eyes may have noticed that our beloved ‘bloomr looks a little different this morning.  There’s a reason for that– Daniel the Computer Genius and I have been confabbing via late night Instant Messaging and boy howdy, we’ve got some big plans, people!  We’ve been doing some serious brainstorming lately about giving this blog a little redecorating/reconfiguring facelift and trying to add some shiny new options that will enhance your Babybloomr experience.

(Picture me standing like those girls at car shows demonstrating the new floor models with wide sweeping arm gestures… Except I’m wearing real clothes and not those slutty car-show-girl outfits. Because even in your imaginations I am all about the propriety. Stop laughing.)

Don’t worry, we’re not talking about anything  too fancy or high tech-y…

(Because, hello, you’ve met me, right? Tech-y is not the first thing that comes to mind. That’s why I was smart enough to convince my sister years ago to have that third kid so he could grow up and be a Computer Genius and help his Auntie out.)

…just a few bells and whistles that can make the site easier to navigate and read, and also make it possible for me to add some stuff that will make everything look prettier and more interesting and way more FUN! FUN! FUN!  I am all about the fun. So, for right now? Don’t worry about those weird little letters/icons at the top right of this page. They are soon going to make it possible for you to link to other Babybloomr stuff like Twitter, Facebook and a FeedBurner– but not quite yet, we’re still installing stuff.

(‘Stuff’ is obviously another one of those high-tech professional bloggy terms that the average lay-person may not understand. And yes, I also don’t quite know what the ding dang a FeedBurner does either, but I am learning and will soon post and tell you all about it. In very easy-to-understand language, the same way Daniel The Computer Genius explains things to me, which is to say, like I ride the short bus. No offense.)

I WOULD like you all to notice that the photos are no longer kind of s t r e t c h e d out to the point that they are slightly distorted. Quick, go check the last post with all of the Faroe Islands shots– don’t they look better? Although honestly, when it comes to pictures of myself I’m going to miss that a little. It may have made me look distorted, but it also made me look a little taller. Oh, well. *sigh* The things I sacrifice for this blog.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys a heads-up by way of this lovely public service announcement that we’ve got some fun stuff coming up around here, so stay tuned– the new floor model is coming soon!

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Tori Taff

I’m Tori, and I’m a late-blooming Baby Boomer.

(“Hi Tori!”)

I live in the South, in the ‘burbs, with my husband of so many years you wouldn’t even freaking believe it, and not one but two TEENAGE GIRLS. Also three tiny, hairy things that appear to be dogs of some sort. Only noisier.

I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of mom, which is a nice way of saying that reading my blog is going to leave you feeling all warm and superior inside.

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Blissdom Conference ~ Nashville ~ February 4-6 2010